Nalanda (10-03-2006)

LOVE, COMMITMENT & MARRIAGE
When I look back…to the life I have gone through…the game of love & betrayal with wonderful people around me…I just wonder wonder & simply wonder…we humans have fizzled the true meaning of Love! Today love & marriage has just become another complex & intricate mind game. At this junction I wonder how long will my love last for that singular person with whom I plan to spend my entire life with? Will even that relationship end in the name of betrayal/compromisement??
I am rethinking-To fall in love or not? To marry or not? That is the question. When 8yrs or for that matter a 23yrs of a relationship can end or be lived simply in the name of compromisement & adjustment how can one have faith in building true relationships. When 2 people who don’t love, respect each other & are not compatible, how do they manage to pretentiously fall in love, marry & give rise to a family? It pains my heart…& propels me to write an article on Love, Commitment & Marriage. What truly would be the purpose of emotions like love, commitment & marriage to take root in human heart…

LOVE: is the most wonderful & ecstatic feeling that we feel. One shouldn’t measure love on the basis of a person’s appearance, qualifications, possessions & bank balance. It looks something beyond all this, it does not look at the attributes that are linked / associated to the person but it looks into the mind, heart & soul of the person. One looks into the mind, heart & soul of the person. One looks at the character & morale of the person, his ethics, and his thoughts. These are the prime or rather should be the prime reasons to build up love, respect & understanding in a strong & true relationship of Love. If you immensely love a person one never runs short of power to commit & marry the person without looking at futile issues like age, religion, caste etc…falling in love is to know the person in & out in every sense with respect to bad & good qualities & we must be able to gel well & be compatible with the person. We must be able to convert the bad qualities into strength thus refining them into a better individual. Love is being together forever for the rest of our lives. One does need to consider factors like looks, qualifications, possessions with respect to foresighted picture of the future being safe & secured & only then should one get involved in the chaste relationship of love. One should think carefully through all the aspects & try and reach a firm decision after listening to the inner voice of your heart, soul, mind, logical brain & only then go for it. Love these days have become a fad, craze & trend for the youngsters to vent out their raging hormonal changes. With a superficial & virtual attitude to ape the western culture, turning a deaf ear to the Indian culture & ethics and losing the focus & fine-tune towards career & way of life, the young generation has been fizzled at the very root levels of thoughts. I don’t understand where are those parents, elders & teachers who mould the children who are born to be the citizens of tomorrow. When the youth themselves have failed to introspect & know themselves well, know their abilities & capabilities, the very persona that they have…how will they ever attempt to understand others?? The youth themselves are not stable, not independent in their way of thinking & attitude towards life, How would they justify their actions in dragging someone else’s life along with theirs by playing the games of love & betrayal!!

COMMITMENT: what is this? What is its purpose? When you judge for yourself not only by heart but also by mind that you indeed love the person for what he is, his identity, and his individuality & analyzed him to be the right guy only then things grow up to the stage of commitment. Even when in love one should have a pure intention of knowing the person & testing your compatibility but not with a selfish attitude to gain attention & play with their emotions. If one realizes during the process of analysis & judgment that this person is not the right person then they should take a firm stand, be straightforward & speak out the truthful heart. One should never play games in the name of love, it will only bring you pain & agony. One commits when a person cannot imagine his life without his ladylove. It is a feeling to spend the rest of the life in the company of each other that is Together through every ups & downs of life, come what may? It is a preconceived notion that the youth have about commitment…it is felt that it is the dead-end complex of love relationship- lots of responsibilities creep up but they fail to realize that still there is growth & joy of cherishing each others companionship. This is because they feel that in commitment the epicenter/ focus of the relationship is the spouse & the rest of the world revolves around her. Youth constrain & narrow down their focus only towards the life with the companion & that’s where the mistake actually is. In commitment one should be able to strike a perfect balance between family, friendly, professional, casual & love relationships. The couple should be able to gel well, trust each other & be acquainted with every tits & bits of each other. This proves to be very helpful in striking a balance in all the relationships, keeps the love strong, life going smooth with no one felt left out.

MARRIAGE: it is a sacred institution wherein not only 2 people come together but actually it is 2 families coming together & gelling with each other. When one bonds in the name of marriage the couple should know each others relatives, friends & family members well enough to develop & nourish a healthy relationship. The love, trust & respect should reflect in every situation that you deal. Your good will & intentions are reflected only in actions as actions speak louder than words & that’s when you will gain a treatment of being a part of the family rather than an outsider. The purpose of marriage is not simply building up a family but it is something beyond that…it is all about a mental satisfaction of having companionship throughout the life with someone with whom you can connect mentally, emotionally & spiritually too…

These attributes truly help you to carry the relationships of love, commitment & marriage with a right attitude towards life.
I’m sure even today’s youth would be very confused when it comes to love, commitment & marriage…this is all because they haven’t got the attitude of introspecting within themselves to discover the very essence of themselves…besides under the influence of western culture & other modernization they have failed to value the rich Indian cultural values & ethics…as of which the seriousness required towards life, education & relationships have become numb…one only advice to the youth would be to introspect within thyself & work dedicatedly towards the goodness of humanity & mankind. With this simple intention in mind…nothing can be impossible or depressing…the quality of life will only improve…